Thursday, July 22, 2010
Am i stuck on 29 followers?!
How odd..... it seems im stuck on 29 followers or maybe no other people want to follow me.... ahahah strange.
I LOVE MASTERCHEF when its over i have no idea what i will watch.
This past week has been not so good...like i said i hate being negative but unfortunately when it rains it pours and its pouring quite a bit for me.
Wisdom teeth are a-holes but going to the dentist they have told me to grin and bare it because they are coming through fine... blerg.
Work has been hell, everything has gone wrong and im slowly fixing the problems but then the receptionist rings me all upset and that she cant deal with it.... i wish i could walk out the office and people could talk to people to calm them enough until i next get to talk to them. I love my job but sometimes it makes me want to pull out my hair....
In the past i havent had a very good relationship with my family, it wasnt hell but it was pretty rough and i felt very alone. The past 2 years things have changed and it seems my family is becoming more loving and concerned ... mum constantly tells me she is thinking of me especially as i live on my own and do it all on my own and even my dad rang me last night to see how i was (trust me... this NEVER happens) so on the family front things are good other then me not talking to my sister which means missing out on seeing my niece. Thats a story in itself.
One of my friends came over last night and i was talking about how reflective i have become... im scared that i did this all to late... should i have done this 3 years ago? have i waited to long?
Im worried i wont find love as every year i get older.... i dont like to ramble or make a big deal about being single because im independent and proud but i do think itd be nice to share my life with someone.... unfortunately as im getting older i think im getting pickier with the kind of man i want to be with. I want to feel right in myself and in my skin, thats why i have done the surgery and i think that once i find myself again there might be a chance for love but as for now i dont think i could love anyone when im not really loving myself.
I have been eating badly in the past 2 days or maybe 3 days i cant think.... my portion sizes have like doubled and im not feeling full... whether thats head full or stomach full im not sure sometimes i still think i eat because im home alone and there isnt anything better to do but things have certainly changed since the surgery and im no where near as bad.
Im excited for my next fill.... i really think i need some more restriction... although i dread seeing the surgeon guy because last time he bamboozled me and made me cry, i also hope they dont make me wait for and hour before i go into the appointment.
As for the scales..... thats a no go zone for me right now, every time i get on it it just depresses me because its not going anywhere. I wanted to getting into walking this week but unfortunately i havent done much because i have been miserable with my wisdom teeth.
I think i need to find some more structure with meal planning.... i think i need to set myself out a nice little meal plan for each day of the week so i know what im eating and stick to it for awhile.... that is my next goal.
im dreading work tomorrow :(
This post was very much full of hooopla!