Sometimes its the little things...

Random entry.....

Listening to Opera classics in the car going to work appointments, whilst in the rain and sitting behind a truck carrying crushed old cars is surreal.

Moments like that let me see the beauty in what percieve as ugly things and thats when i smile.

Thank you rain, opera and destroyed cars.

POint form fun...

Here are some things....

• The weather is currently delicious... some well needed rain and it allows me an excuse to stay in doors and exercise on the Wii ahahah.


• My weight hasnt moved for weeks now, i may have gained a little or not?! I have no idea, the scales are pretty much the same... its not good though and i know its because i have been eating more. Bring on my fill which i will be getting on the 7th.


• Im not to sure how much to get when i get my next fill.... i was thinking half a ml but maybe i need 1 full ml again.... arghhhh hopefully my surgeon will indicate whats better.


• My house has been cleaned which means my mind is a bit clearer which has made me happier.


• My friends met Harry for the first time the other day and loved him to bits and he was super good around them which made me very happy.... i think he is settling in finally and he hasnt nipped anyone for a good month now.


• I want to make refined bean burritos... i have bought them from the store before but i wish i knew how to make me own, refined beans are great for you and i love love love it so im currently looking at some recipes online now of how to make simple bean burritos but if any of you have any ideas let me know.


• Work is slowly untangling itself and although i have a full on week ahead of me its just a little bit better then last week. I think it had alot to do with hormonal issues.


• Im going camping if the weather is decent not this weekend but the next... i havent camped for such a long time it will be a great adventure! (i only camp where they have toilets tho ahaha i hate squatting!)


• My 6 small meals is in affect but whether its working or not yet im not sure.


• I havent walked this week yet due to the weather but im still trying to keep a little fit on my Wii.


• I want to spoil myself and buy myself something nice but dont know what.... i need a new handbag but im so particular with what i buy ill end up looking for forever.


• I still havent painted anything... i need to get off my butt and paint but im always so tired :(


• I want to buy a pair of rollerblades to go along the ocean with with my dog.... i think itd be fun... and great for my legs too!


• Its a very good friends birthday this weekend and im going out for dinner on Saturday night and i want to buy her somethign special but not sure what to get her yet.


• I have realised i need to have more discipline with this band because with the way things are going at the moment im not doing well at all!

This is what i want my burritos to look like!

The inside of the burrito!

I will attempt burritos soon but for now i want to make chicken and salad for dinner and mini quiches... YUM!

Hmmm i guess thats enough mind vomit.

This cow is cool.

Pictures i like this Month!

All these photos made me happy or smile so far this month and thats a good thing!
I also wish i were a creative genius like Bjork..... she emits art through her pours.
If you havent seen this film yet then you need to.... there are simple pleasures in life and this is one of them.

I dont like being a negative Larry.

Sorry that i have been so negative.... i think im worn out... simple as that.... :(

Wowzers today i moved the whole house around and finally when i sat down i found out that the antenna in the room i moved everything into doesnt work :( ill post more about that later. So for the next 2 days ill be watching dvds and media files ahahah.

On friday it was my sisters birthday so we went to my parents new block where they are building and had a bbq.

'before i get into it this was a meal i made the other night so i could get some more meat into me... its a curry mince mix and its yum

This is a photo i took of myself before i went out to the block it turned out nicer then i thought
My mum and i walking with the dogs down to the paddocks
The dogs running through the paddocks
Walking around the paddocks
A little toadstool i found on the way :D
Harry taking a break in the grass
Jak my parents dog
Me scratching HArry on his back nawwwww lol
A nice picture of the bush on the paddock
Back up after the walk near my parents shed and their big camper
My adorable niece
My sis and niece
I love this shot i took of her
Me cooking the BBQ dinner :D
This was the cake my sister made for her own birthday... its insane chocolate mudcake with custdard balls inside..... sooooo good. Id show you a pic of the inside but i thought that would be way to much food porn.

To tired to say much more..... moving my whole house around has made me so knackered and i didnt eat all day... was a bit dangerous at the end, i was doing so much i didnt realise my eneergy was so low i nearly passed out, i stopped at that point though luckily.... its funny how different things are now. I like being distracted and not thinking about food... that doenst happen enough ahahah

Wheres your head at @)(&)@#&$)@()!+_@!)

Wowzers....

I havent blogged and there has been a reason for that.... my head is literally about to explode.

Work has gotten to me so much this week i have been crying nearly everyday.... i just always feel tired and at the moment im at breaking point.

The girls at work hate me at the moment and one of the girls im close with isnt even talking to me because work was so busy and horrible yesterday i had people threatening law action and so forth and she emailed me asking for documents which i was doing and saying all these things which it would implicate if i didnt do it on time... WHICH I HAVE KNOWN SINCE THE START and so i wrote her back saying BACK OFF i know what will happen if i dont get them in you dont need to tell me. Since then she hasnt spoken to me.... i dont care F#*& it all.... i used to love this job and im beginning to hate it with all the crap i constantly deal with and all it does is consume me... i cant look forward to the important things which is bringing in money for the company because all im dealing with is shit shit and more shit. I need a PA bad.

So im dealing with poo which is exhausting me, since not having facebook anymore no one talks to me or really invites me anywhere (which in a small way i wanted), my close friends still buzz me but its not for fun things, its people wanting advice or to talk and i just dont have the energy these days to help others out and be the owl because im strugglin with myself :(

I want/need something good to happen or i will just go insane and me not loosing heaps of weight isnt helping much either a s im not feeling very positive.

I think i have lost 1kilo but my scales are so bi polar i dont know. 6 small meals i think is helping my appetite more which is good but yeah i dont know....

Im not captain positive at the moment.

I need a holiday! I need to do something nice for me. I should hire a hotel room and just spend the night on my own there to get out of my environment.... i need to do something nice for myself but i dont know what. I could buy my lounge suite i have been wanting for the past 9 months ahahah.

Sorry this isnt a dandy post, im still trying to be good and exercise and do those things which is all good, im such a contradiction because as much as i want friends to want to do sttuff i just dont have the energy too.... and most of its during the week at the moment and im too tired :(

Oh god i need to stop.... im sorry.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhh just let me explode it would be easier. Sometimes death just seems more peaceful (please dont kill me for the statement.... thats the depressant in me talking).

Signing out.

Bleh.

???

Has anyone ever blown up because of stress..... at work right now im pretty sure im at boiling point and i have to work late.

Someone shoot me please it'd be easier!

Brilliant!

Some blogs hit the nail on the head when it comes to lapbanding....

Here is a blog i really appreciated reading.... so many things in the post i could relate to. Creating more of an understanding of all of this will also allow for you to move ahead in a positives means i think.... anyway have a read-

http://thisisalifeilove.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-not-easy.html

This sleep deprivtion will be the death of me.

So weird things have been happening....

Last night i couldnt sleep, but i havent been able to sleep for awhile now so thats nothing crazy different although it is slowly wearing very thin... so anywhoo someone rang my mobile last night at exactly midnight, i thought it might have been my mum and i text her and it wasnt. After the phonecall my bed started shaking like a dogs tail was hitting it and i turned leant up and yelled at Harry to stop and get back into his bed but he was already in his bed which was not anywhere near my bed.... so why the hell was the bed shaking?! totally creepy... so i made Harry come and sleep on my bed after that because i was a little whacked out after that.

My eating habits have not been good and i have been eating alot before bed but i dont think thats helping me even though i think it is or thats what i would have done in the past.

I have started the 6 small meals thing again... whether the surgeon likes it or not ahahah, i dont feel my eating habits are right and when i was on the 6 small meals i was loosing weight more rapidly, felt more energy and all round felt really good about myself... since then i have felt CRAPPO so im giong to give it a go again :)

Im back to exercising every morning again... 40min walk which equals about 5 kilometers which is like 3 miles i think?! i could be wrong..... im doing that every morning which i enjoy after while when im over my grumpy wake up. I get up a little bit earlier now so when i get home i can do some muscle work outs like stomach cruntches and squats which is leaving me very sore.... but im super paranoid about arm flub so im doing some major muscle work outs on my arms.

I didnt really think i wanted my 3rd fill but i now know i do... im falling into bad habits and not loosing at the moment which is totally sucky.... i think i will only get half a mil with my next fill though....

I have a goal of loosing 15kilos before November at this rate i wont be getting anywhere near that though so thats why im trying to imlpicate change.

The exercise thing is an interesting topic as i think when i exercise i loose more when some of you say you loose less.... because im not sleeping im trying to keep up the exercising because hopefully it helps me sleep.

I hope this 6 small meal thing works.... i havent had my coffee this morning its 10am and im super hungry....all i had was my berocca..... maybe i need to have my optifast in the mornings again hmmmmm so confusing....

Oh the two photos arent really relevant.... i had a bottle of sparkling water the other day which i dont normally have and i thougth the bottle was pretty so i took a photo lol...

Also here is a wonderous song to make you smile :)

QUESTION TIME?!?

OK guys so tell me what you think?

Do you think you loose weight faster when you do a small amount of exercise or does it not matter either way?

This may sound like a stupid question but with having the surgery alot of people dont exercise but loose the weight but does the weight drop off longer because you dont exercise?

I dont want my weightloss all to happen at once but i noticed when walk everyday i loose it quicker even if i eat a little bader..

I havent been eating well lately and have had no losses this is why im questioning it all..... i love my exercise now just getting up in the mornings is a bit blerg....when it stays brighter out longer in the afternoons ill be excited to go walk the dog along the beach...

anywhoo your thoughts?

sorry this post sounds stupid ahahah

Blue skies and sunshine...

Woke up feeling a bit so so this morning but instead i rang a friend and asked if she wanted me to come over so we could take the dogs to the park.... we did and im glad i did, although my house is messy for yet another week i preferred the walk and catch up... here is some of my day in photos-

The drive to my friends place, Harry chillin in the back..
View of the drive... its about 25mins to my friends place
Betty waiting on the steps for Harry and i :)
Walking past ugly buildings to the park
The dogs frolicking
Me looking like an idiot!
Ahaha Ky being a noob!
Daragh sitting on Kylie ahahh
2 little black dots running
Freshly cut grass is nice
Daragh holding "Betty
My favourite photo of HArry even tho his a bit of a feral
Japanese cherry blossom at my friends house that is BEYOND pretty.
Its not a stand off... its a ball off
When i got home i washed and straightened my hair... here i am with no make up ahaha
me
This was to show the length of my hair

So tomorrow im hoping to get back to normal and get out of this rut which means back to walking everyday.... im eating bad on the weekends but better during the week and i think the only thing missing is the exercise everyday.... i would do Chica challenge but im scared ill fail.

Weekend was pretty quiet, didnt go out and do much of anything..... pretty chilled and id didnt even get to clean my house :-\