Saturday, November 27, 2010
On the friday night in Bunbury i sat down with the drummer from MM9 and talked for about 2 hours about life and all its craziness..... his talk woke me up to a lot of things... it was one of the most special conversations i have had in a long time. See pics below from the fun fun.
Kym being a goof with Ebs ET chico
Ebs, Elisa and myself
Im not on the pill anymore for contraception from my doctors and i have no idea when my period is coming on...... so anyways i should just read it by the ridiculous amount of chocolate i want... the last two days have been insane.... not really bad fatty foods more so just chocolate. There we go.... ITS HERE Arghhhh.
How exciting... everyone wanted to know that.
ps. Christina Augleria (sp?) looks so so bad these days.
pps. tonight im going to my first roller derby here in WA, i have been getting fitter and have been wanting to join derby for years.
ppps. my mum gave me an awesome elliptical trainer and its hard yacker but AWESOME. I have had any weightloss but i think i have been gaining a lot of muscle heres hoping this will regulate soon.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
LOL you guys are so funny and crazy supportive.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Heres Kym... his with Tina who im going over to Melbourne to stay with.... Tina & Kane moved to melb.... which sucks because we were all havign the best fun together.... now they live too far away :( Ahaha it looks liek they are together but trust me they arent ahahah
anotherone of Tina & Kym..... i have a photo with him but i look like a bushpig so i choose not to share.
You will see i constantly have crushes on a bazillion boys.... it never follows through. I had feelings for Kym just before my birthday then he got a girlfriend and i got over it.... we went to lunch monday and are going down south together with my friend ebs for a gig this weekend... hanging out with him again is bringing back stupid feelings ahahah.
thats enough for now.
Hope all you guys are well..
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
I cant explain whats been going on and its not all a disaster, its actually kind of ok... i got some bad news about the PCOS but then i get some relieving news the other day about something at work which i have been stressed about now for about 3 months.... now i know that i have no need to be stressed at the moment i can move on and look forward to positive things that could happen.
i dont like feeling unsettled and thats half the problem, things with work were very unsettled and it made me very confused and frustrated for my future and now that that has changed i can hopefully refocus on some important things for my future.
I have looked or stepped even close to the scales. My eating habits have been a complete failure and i havent gone anywhere fast at all. This week i have barely exercised as everything kind of felt like it was crumbling all around me.... i did a little exercise but nothing like i was doing. I know i need to go get a fill but im not ready for that yet as im on medication for the PCOS and i would like to see if this makes a difference to my weight as it seems my weight is affected by it.
In all honesty i know the secret to how i loose the most weight... i know what the secret is. Dont eat sugar. Guess what.... fuck that. ok maybe not.... but i love sugar and chocolates and all that is bad... sometimes i cant find a balance and its very destructive. I have been destructive lately and its sad. I know i will pull myself out of this.
Maybe just maybe after all these years it is my hormones setting me totally out of whack.... maybe i get in these ridiculous funks because my body just cant handle anything because it has such an imbalance with my hormones, maybe its the reason my depression goes a little whacko at times, it probably isnt but it would be nice to think it is and im trying to gain control of it.
I always wondered why i carried so much weight around my belly..... the part i hate the most :( i cant wear normal tops like chicks because my belly is big and i get paranoid about it and i dont have big boobs to camoflauge it :( The doc tells me a lot of women with PCOS carry a lot of the weight around their stomachs. Who knows if these meds will work but heres hoping.
So there you go... i have probably gained weight due to all this bullshit so thats why im not even touching the scales and until im emotionally strong enough im not going to go near them and that probably wont be until i start motivating myself again and getting back into the swing of things.
I have been a failure to myself these days and its disapointing but im hoping with these few little positive changes potentially happeningin my life i might regain some sanity and move on.
Im hoping and praying to get a TOOL side show ticket in Melb and fly over there for a holiday.... February next year... it would be very good because i would def have to give myself time off for that to go away on the adventure.
Problem is gettnig tickets... im trying to conivince mike to get his brother to get me a ticket because he is on some TOOL website.
Ok i wanted to share these guys with you..... DEAD LETTER CIRCUS from Australia.... they are amazing... i love my country and its amazing music and artists.
Anyways... thats enough.
Hope your all well.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
It does make quite a bit of sense tho... my doc is hoping the meds will even out my hormones permanently and that ill have even more weightloss. I feel good knowing if there is something im trying to treat it but i guess in a sense i feel pretty shitty to.
On a positive note im pretty sure for Aussies my friends and i are awesome at HAlloween.... so many of us make a big deal of it.... so heres photos from my Halloween weekend and my friends.
First time i drank since the band and i got SLAUGHTERED... i had to make myself throw up a little in the morning because i was so hungover lol.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I havent posted as i havent been confident enough to post.
Everything was a bit blergh, still pulling myself out of the poo but my motivation has dropped down something crazy. Im not eating like i was and the exercise is still ok but not as good as before.
I just feel like im struggling remembering what is guiding me to be the person i really want to be.
I will hopefully update something a little more exciting then this later.